Sunday, May 31, 2015

Friends /Enemies

I'm taking requests about what to write about.

So today, the question: From a strategic viewpoint, how would you make a friend out of an enemy?

My immediate response to this was to say - Well, that's easy, you don't care that they are an enemy. Friend or enemy is all the same, if you know where someone stands in relationship to you, you can use the relationship to your benefit.

So was that a cop out? Did I answer the question?

Answer these - 
Why do you want them to be your friend?
What does 'friend' or 'enemy' mean?

You could get a bit more complex and ask - Are there definitions in between friend and enemy that are acceptable? Honorable enemy? Distant respect? Polite disdain? Not dangerous? Completely unimportant?

And, if you really needed their 'friendship'. What for? And what time scale are we looking at to achieve this goal?

We are all defined by relationship and are nothing without 'other'. Not just person to person, but us with gravity, time, air. It's why we do what we do and are how we are.

And relationship just 'is'. Everything has a place if we choose to see the relationship, and not just ourselves. Enemies are not afraid to criticize, or show us our weaknesses. Nasty, mean, people show us who we don't want to be, and perhaps point out our hypocrisies. Cool people encourage us to go further and expand our imaginations, smart people teach us, students teach us too. Family (blood or chosen) keep us safe and feed our souls.

Don't be afraid of enemies unless they are threats. (Threats and enemies are not the same. Threats require action, enemies probably don't ... not for most of us at least.)

Embrace adversarial interaction, be it with sword or words, not so you can prove your perfection to yourself, but to find out who you truly are.

Like Sonny said- Don't keep them away, they are coming anyway. Let them in but choose how you open the door.

Next question ...?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Sounds like politics to me. Oh wait, my bad ! Relationships are politics. It takes me a whole year of weekly interaction with an individual before I can decide if they are a friend or aquaintace. My 2 cents.