Putting this out there as a question -
In a confrontational/fighting context, how do you define a 'win'?
If there are multiple parts to your answer, which is the most important?
And yes, this really is just a question - I know my answers, just curious what yours are ....
And PS: Quoting Charlie Sheen or Conan doesn't count ;-)
15 comments:
Not sure what you mean by a confrontation. A monkey dance that cannot be stopped before going to the physical stage?
Well, that would be one, and probably most pertinent to a blog about dueling.
I am also wondering, however if there are some over arching definitions that cover more varied situations, from pre-fight monkey dance to ambush ...?
In Muay Thai, a win is either by KO, TKO, or points. Same thing for MMA. Points are the least efficient, because they rely on judges.
Outside of that...
Tony Blauer says "the scenario dictates".
Kru Toy of Sityodtong says "depends situation."
I get the same message either way. The win changes depending on what you're looking at. A win in one confrontation might be jail time in another.
To be able to continue *freely* living my life.
Josh,
You are closest to what I was thinking.
I'd put it as 'Get home safe' perhaps ...?
Ultimate win -
No fight, we both get to walk away.
Next win -
We fight and I get to walk away.
Next win -
I survive.
What they all have in common of course is the idea that there is an 'after' that plays into why you do what you do before and during.
More next post.
I largely agree with Josh and Maija but have to add that if my family is involved my survival is not a requirement for a 'win'. For instance a home invasion; the way I see it the dog and I have from the door to the bedrooms to kill them, if I bleed out after, so be it.
Absent I live, you die, I think a real win would be turning an "other" into an ally. Find where they at and give them a 'eureka' of emotional realization strong enough to establish a new, positive 'engram' (from ol' L.Ron) with enough energy to redirect their life path.
This is a favorite endeavor of therapists everywhere, but this 'redirection' cannot be achieved by sitting around in groups and discussing our feelings.
Change MUST be 'catastrophic' (not to be confused with negative).
You've seen it, and probably felt 'it' - seen the widening of the eyes and the catching of the breath, the start of trying to say something and then the jaw snap close and the gaze turn inward for a moment.
A moment of realization.
I'd say, in attempt to reach an overarching "definition", that an optimal victory is me not being "cemeterily" served, medically treated or legally held responsible after the altercation. An ideal victory is that the first two points do not apply for the other side either.
@Mac - Nice! Transmuting the energy into something past 'neutral' into positive would indeed be a A+ win.
Mac, Maija:
Something like this what you had in mind?
http://www.npr.org/2008/03/28/89164759/a-victim-treats-his-mugger-right
But one has to see it coming. Awareness is the strategy, intuition the tactic and focus the tool. This is the 'triangle' of perception - an unbreakable structure that is both passive-interpretive and active-causative. What is affective is effective.
Nice, Jake. Now that guy had intuition, and an emotional 'centeredness.'
Mac said: "Awareness is the strategy, intuition the tactic and focus the tool."
That's very cool.
And from his newest blog post
"How to learn this? Training, experience, visualization and the occasional boot up side the head just for spice."
Nicely said.
I suspect there is no substitute for experience, but I do think you can train to improve awareness, intuition and focus, and part of me asking the question about defining the win, was to get to the idea that looking at the definition might help create a bigger space (shape?) to work in.
Like seeing the gaps between the swords instead of the swords themselves.
The silence between the notes defines the song;
breath in, the intensity of the next note;
finger's pause, the following refrain.
My dad always told me 'make sure you walk away', took me years to realise what he actually meant.
But, that's how I define a win. Besides I'm English, so to be honest I have probably tried to figure out what the damage will be before anything else.
Countrymouse.
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