Trying to formulate in words about training this weekend with RM, and I mean 'training' in the broadest sense - encompassing talking, watching, listening, feeling, flowing, forgetting, owning, reacting, losing, creating, and most of all playing. Definitely playing.
There was nothing to complete or accomplish, and I'm not sure if I could label what we did or what I learned, but I know it changed things. I had glimpses of possibilities and got to experience a different, more visceral kind of chaos than I had spent time in before.
Flying home brought to mind leaving Sonny's house after a training session, sitting in my car and feeling like I'd had my fingers shoved in an electrical socket - I felt disoriented, shifted somehow, and imagined that an observer would notice that my hair was somehow standing straight out from my head. Back then I often did not remember how I drove home.
This was kinda like that too, except now I know exactly where my ribs, neck and jaw are, I have tape around both my big toes, and I seem to have some random grazes that I don't think were there before.
What a gift to play with such a highly skilled, big cat that doesn't want to kill you.